Friendship with God
Christopher Chalifoux
Your past does not have to determine your future. There is a God who knows your story and still wants to walk with you.
98-2492.
A number like that can tell a system where to find a man. It can point to a file, a record, a place to put him.
But can it tell you who he is?
Can it tell you what he fears when the lights go out? Can it tell you who he misses? Can it tell you whether he still believes his life can become something different?
There is a difference between being identified and being known.
You can know a man's number and never know the man. You can read about the worst thing he ever did and still not know his whole story.
Now, I am not saying our choices don't matter. They do. The people we have hurt matter. Taking responsibility matters.
But a record cannot tell you everything God can do with the life of a man who turns toward Him.
Some of us have carried other names, too. Failure. Trouble. Disappointment. The one who always messes up.
Sometimes nobody even has to say those words anymore. We say them to ourselves.
And after a while, we can start answering to them.
But what if God is calling you something different?
What if, before you have figured everything out, before you know how to fix what you have broken, He is inviting you into a friendship?
Not because He has overlooked the truth about you. Because He knows the truth about you, and He still loves you.
Keep that number in mind. We'll come back to it.
There are folks out there who care for you, and that's great!
These folks have cared enough to pray for you, write notes and draw posters to share their love with you.
I hope you are all encouraged, knowing there are people outside who are willing to offer you their love.
Don't get me wrong, these things are nice... BUT!
Some may be thinking:
“What if they really knew me? Would they still be praying, loving and showing concern for me? Would they want to be my friend?”
As if a friend is someone who agrees with you all the time or always takes your side in an issue?
No... in fact, a true friend may disagree with you when they see you doing or saying something that could hurt you or someone else. They won't just tell you what you want to hear. They'll tell you what you need to hear, even when it's hard.
That's what a real friend does. They don't walk away when things get difficult. They walk with you through them.
And that question, “What if they really knew me?” can follow us right into our thoughts about God.
We may believe He could love the man beside us. We may believe He could forgive somebody else. But when it comes to us, we start making exceptions.
“Yeah, but You don't know what I've done.”
God does.
“You don't know how many chances I've wasted.”
He knows that, too.
You don't have to convince God that your life has been better than it has. You don't have to clean up your story before you can tell Him the truth.
A friendship built on pretending will always leave you afraid of being found out.
But with God, you are already known.
That means you can stop spending all your strength trying to hide, and begin learning how to trust.
What if they really knew me?
So let me tell you about my friend, God.
God is love. Because God is love, He created you to love and to be loved.
Your past does not change that. Your mistakes do not change that. Your circumstances do not change that.
You are still someone who needs friendship, encouragement, forgiveness, and someone willing to walk beside you.
That's why I believe that sending good wishes and prayers is wonderful—but sometimes what we need is more than words.
Through this ministry, I want to let you know: God wants to be your friend.
A God who will sit with you in the hard places. He will listen when you come to Him honestly. He will remind us that our story is not over.
And perhaps that is part of what God is calling each of you to be: a friend to someone who desperately needs one.
Because even in a place where freedom is limited, God's love is not.
You are not forgotten.
You are not beyond hope.
You are not beyond love.
You were created for community. You were created to love and be loved. And you are still deeply loved by God.
Let me tell you about my friend
Now, if I could have your undivided attention as I drop some truth bombs about this God who wants to be your friend.
He isn't sitting in heaven waiting for someone to sin, so He can punish them.
What does “sin” mean anyways?
The word sin means “missing the mark” or “missing the target.”
God's desire for us is to live in a loving relationship with Him. When we turn away from Him, we miss that mark. Sin separates us from God, much like the prodigal son separated himself from his father.
But the father never stopped loving his son. He wanted him home.
God doesn't want us to be separated from Him.
He wants us to be part of His family and part of His body.
I would like to reiterate: God isn't looking for ways to push you away. He is always calling you back to Him or wanting to start a new relationship with Him.
His desire is not condemnation. His desire is to have a relationship.
He wants us to know Him, walk with Him, and experience the peace, forgiveness, and freedom that comes from being close to Him.
GOD WANTS TO BE OUR FRIEND!
There are stories written about God calling the Hebrews out of Egypt and offering them a covenant.
They drifted in and out of that covenant relationship.
God still uses people and their friendship with Him to spread His word.
God also sent His Son, Jesus, the Christ.
Jesus Christ, “the anointed one,” “The Messiah,” who is also known as “The Liberator.” He and the Father are one, and they work through the Holy Spirit.
In Jesus, God completes the offer of His friendship, love and mercy to us.
John 3:16–18:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. God did not send the son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in him is not judged. He who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.”
Jesus offers us eternal life. Through His death He enables us to die to self. He gives us life by giving up His own life. This is what Grace is all about!
Even God cannot have a friendship alone. It takes two, with both giving and receiving affection and esteem. It is up to us to OPEN THE DOOR to God's friendship.
God is calling us home
Most of my life, I thought God was the Boogeyman.
Remember that number I asked you to keep in mind?
98-2492.
That was my DOC number.
I didn't begin with that because I wanted you to hear about the man before you heard about his record.
And I want you to know that God sees the man behind your number, too.
Twenty-some years ago, I was living a life of going in and out of jails and prisons. My last prison bit was at Westville. I know what it feels like to sit inside those walls.
I know the sound of those cell doors closing.
I know what it's like to wonder when you're going out and what life is going to look like when you do.
I also know what it's like to promise yourself, “This time will be different,” only to find yourself back in the same place.
For years, I ran from God.
Keep in mind, I believed God was the boogeyman.
Who's not going to run from the boogeyman?
I thought He was sitting behind a giant control panel in heaven, watching me and waiting for me to break one of His rules so He could punish me.
Every time I sinned, I thought, “God's got me now.”
Every time I went back to jail or prison, I thought God was getting even with me.
So, I ran even farther and faster—toward drugs, alcohol, anger, pride, and anything that could fill the emptiness inside me.
But I had it completely backwards.
One day on 7 Dorm, GSC Side, which was used as the working dorm at that time, I stopped running from God. After studying the Bible for over six months, I realized God was running toward me.
Through every jail cell, every bad decision, and every failure, God never stopped pursuing me.
Here I was thinking He was waiting to punish me. He was waiting for me to come home.
Then I began to understand Jesus, the Son whom God sent to establish a friendship through Him. All I had to do was accept it as the truth. I had fallen for almost every lie; why not have faith?
Unfortunately, I put myself through much hell. I can't change that, but I have a story, and so do you.
Jesus came for broken people.
People who failed.
People who had run away.
People like me.
We rejected Him, beat Him, and crucified Him. Yet even the cross couldn't stop God's love for us.
Jesus stretched His arms out on that cross, and I now see those arms as God's invitation:
“Come home.”
The number was mine
I finally began talking to God. My prayers weren't fancy.
“God, I'm tired.”
“God, I've messed up.”
“God, I don't know how to change.”
And instead of hearing, “I told you so,” I began discovering a God who said:
“I still love you. Come to Me.”
And God's friendship began changing my life.
In moments of joy, I learned I didn't have to celebrate alone. I could thank God for the good things in my life.
In moments of pain, when there was nowhere else to turn, I found comfort knowing He was with me.
When I felt trapped by my past, my addictions, my anger, and my failures, He began bringing freedom.
And in the darkest moments, when despair told me my life would never change, God's presence gave me peace and reminded me:
He wasn't finished with me.
My past didn't disappear. I still had consequences from the things I had done. But my past no longer had to determine my future.
For the first time, I understood that I wasn't just an inmate, an offender, or a man who had spent his adult life going in and out of prison.
I was a man God loved.
That doesn't mean every day suddenly became easy. And I don't want you thinking friendship with God means you will never struggle again.
A friendship is something you live, day by day.
Sometimes that may begin with a few honest words before your feet touch the floor: “God, help me walk with You today.”
Sometimes it may mean stopping before you answer in anger. Sometimes it may mean admitting you were wrong. Sometimes it may mean asking for help instead of pretending you don't need anybody.
Those moments may not look big to anybody else. But choosing to turn toward God in those moments matters.
And when you fail, you can tell Him the truth about that, too.
You don't build a friendship by disappearing every time you are ashamed.
You come back. You listen. You learn to trust the One who loves you enough to tell you the truth.
Maybe you don't have all the words today. Maybe you still have questions. You can be honest about those, too.
You can begin right where you are.
The number I gave you at the beginning is part of my history. It doesn't get the final word about my life.
And your worst chapter doesn't have to be your last chapter.
There is still a man behind that number. There is still a life in front of you. And there is a God who wants to walk with you through it.
Friendship began changing my life
The greatest goal: friendship with God
That's why I believe a friendship with God is the greatest goal anyone can have.
The most rewarding choice is living in Friendship with God through Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit.
Choosing a relationship with God is the only choice truly worthy of us. And when we live in that relationship, we find satisfaction that nothing else can give.
We become children of God—created by Him and deeply loved by Him.
We become brothers and sisters of Jesus Christ, loved by Him and redeemed through Him.
We become temples of the Holy Spirit, who lives in us, loves us, and gives us the strength to keep going.
Take a quiet moment. What have you believed about God that has kept you running? What would it look like to speak honestly with Him today?
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